It doesn't matter what self-help guru you follow they all agree that you must accept responsibility for the life you are creating if you want to grow, become self-actualized, or become more spiritual. So, what does it mean to take complete responsibility for the life you are creating? What would it take to be this “responsible” person? For starters you would never say – oh no, it's not my fault! You would look at the unfavorable situations in your life and analyze how you helped to create that situation. So often we have such deeply held beliefs (programming) about ourselves and our place in the world that it can be difficult to understand how you are contributing to the situation. From your current perspective it appears that something or someone outside of yourself is the cause. But the truth is we almost always have some involvement. Should the situation be an outside event such as a storm or tragic accident you may be involved in its creation – or not. However, how you respond to the tragedy will have a huge impact on how the situation will affect your life. Are you willing to play the part of victim (this should never have happened to ME) or will you refuse to play that role? It is your choice.
So often we think we are taking responsibility when we aren't. We say the words “I know I have a role in creating this situation, BUT!” Watch your thoughts. Who or what are you blaming? Do you catch thoughts such as: if only the economy was better, if he just was different, if only, if only, if only!! We all have circumstances that we wish were or had been different. OK, so you can't change those but you can refuse to allow them to define who you are today, in this moment. Just as the universe is unlimited, so are we. There is no limit to how much we can change and grow. And, as we change the life we are living, our outer circumstances will change as well. Our outer circumstances will always reflect our inner self. As difficult as facing that reality can be at times there is a great blessing in it. You are being shown where you need to change and heal. What thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are no longer serving who you want to be and what you want to create in your life. It is a great gift – we just have to understand how to unwrap it.
Being stuck in a place we don't want to be can be extremely difficult. It can feel like you are mired down in quick sand, and permanently stuck. Whatever the situation, the solution is always going to require you to change something within yourself. Changing the outer circumstances without inner growth will be temporary – you will usually end up back in the same place, the place you don't want to be!