Do you have the courage to face the truth about what keeps you from creating the life you desire? It is much easier to place blame on the outer circumstances that surround us, our boss, the economy, our family, our education, or lack of resources. I could make an endless list. But the truth is those things will seldom change permanently for us unless we change something within us. Usually this has to take place at a very core level. This deep inner work is not for the faint of heart.
I was reminded of just how powerful the pull is to stay in that place we don't want to be several times in the past few weeks. I was at a lunch meeting for a large organization and I sat down next to a woman I know through business. She is lovely, intelligent, and vibrant, but when she needed to speak in front of the other woman sitting at our table she froze and made a statement under her breath that she just couldn't do public speaking. After lunch I mentioned to her that I have helped other women with similar issues and she did not even want to discuss it! There is no question in my mind that this inability to speak in front of people is having a negative impact on her career. However, she seemed even more afraid of exploring the possibility of letting go of this issue that is holder her back than living with it.
A week later I was at a business presentation with another woman I had met several years before at a business organization I had been a member of. I asked her if she was still a member and she answered that she was no longer involved because she had developed “social anxiety”. I asked her if she would like to get rid of it. She looked at me rather surprised, stammered and said she wasn't sure – that it was causing her problems in her business but she had just hired some people to go to public events for her so she was OK with it at least for now.
WOW – I have learned it accept this type of response but it can be challenging to see people allow things to hold them back when they don’t have to. We are all on our own path – but as someone who is called to help others it requires some self-management on my part to honor their path. I have learned to be OK with this – or at least keep my mouth shut!
I understand, not just from a professional perspective, but also from a personal one. There have been times in my life when it felt easier to deny my contribution to circumstances in my life that I didn't like. I was working with an amazing coach at the time and she pointed out I might have some resistance about a particular issue – my response was ABSOLUTELY NOT! Anyone would think that it sucked if they were in the same place. I then had to laugh at myself because I immediately realized that she was correct and I spent a lot of time journaling on my resistance. So when it comes to wanting to point the finger away from me instead of focusing on myself I have been there and done that!
It can be a difficult path to take. I have empathy for those who are more comfortable staying in their place of “pain” I have come to understand self-development and deep inner work is not for everyone. The journey is well worth it, but to be willing to face and honor the truth about ourselves is definitely a path for the few, the courageous. Are you one?